The Return to Zork (and eventually bed)

starrynight

It’s currently a little after 2:30 am and I can’t sleep. I bought the equivalent of the game Rush Hour on my phone and I’ve played it a lot tonight so all my dreams have been a frustrating stream of me solving unsolvable puzzles (or so they were in my head, I am actually quite good at the game). I was so bored I woke up and now I’m leery of going back to sleep in fear of having the same said dreams.

But now that I am awake I considered this the opportune time to write a blog post, since I have the free-time, even though it is technically the middle of the night. Oh well. I’ve been thinking a lot about video games, especially those I used to play back in the good ol’ 90s (I miss that era). I grew up a Windows/MS-DOS player when I was a child. We didn’t get our first console until after the Playstation 2 came out (I remember it was Christmas). One game that comes to mind is The Return to Zork, a first person point and click video game released in 1993 that was very much like my other favorite game, Myst.

I’m sure anyone whose played this game is getting misty-eyed nostalgia right now. 

One of the best parts of that game, which also happens to be a running joke in the family, is the scene in which the player encounters a man named Boos Myller. He offers you shots of rye, and the purpose is to drink him under the table so you can take his keys or something like that. But his catchphrase is, “Want some rye, course you do!” (pours the player a shot of rye whiskey). My family has joked about making tee shirts out of that.

In your travels throughout the game, you meet all sorts of characters along the way, I think one of the first people you come across, other than the wizard in the snow-globe and the lighthouse dude is a teacher. My eight-year-old brain equated her to scary person, perhaps because she was an authority figure who liked to give impossible test questions. Seriously, the first question on the test she hands you the moment you walk through the schoolhouse door is, “Barbel of Gurth, the tenth century arbiter and diplomat, is famous for inventing what spell?” My eight year old brain was like WTF and thought I missed something earlier in the game, but oh no, you just had to answer questions that made no sense. But later on in the game it becomes relevant to know said answers because you get interrogated by a woman who punches you out in her bathroom (you were intruding while she was brushing her teeth so it was justified). And if you answered wrong, you got your brains blown out with a shotgun. Game over.

punch

I’d be mad too if someone snuck up on me in the bathroom

There were so many good moments in that game, like annoying the blacksmith, trying not to be eaten by a grue (unknown creatures that live in the dark. Hence why it was VERY SMART to be afraid of the dark in the game), traversing through the Forest of the Wandering Spirits (the music there was lovely, but make a wrong turn and you’re dead), and last but not least was trying to get through the bog without a stick. That always ended badly. SO MANY WAYS TO DIE!

It’s after 3:30 am now and I believe it is high time that I attempt to go back to bed. I hope you all enjoyed this post and I look forward to hearing from you! So, what was YOUR favorite childhood video game? I’ll make more posts about games, I HAVE TONS.

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Beyond Our Control

I almost cut myself today.

It was my first day back at work after being on vacation for a whole week with boyfriend. So if you were wondering why I hadn’t posted last week that was why. Today started off alright, but then a thought crept into my head and burrowed its way into my personal knot of paranoia and anxiety. It nested there until it grew too large for me to ignore. The thought screamed at me until I paid attention to it. Within moments I broke down and acknowledged my fear, it was so loud I found it impossible not to.

That set the mood for the rest of the day, unfortunately. Have you ever felt so anxious that you couldn’t stop shaking, you can’t breath and you forget how to swallow? That was me all morning leading up to the afternoon. I ended up not eating anything other than a Special K chocolate protein shake. I still don’t feel hungry, but then again stress will do that to you.

My boyfriend is currently talking me down via text message since he lives in Maryland. I can’t imagine how he deals with me. I guess love truly does conquer all. But I can’t help but feel horribly guilty for how I feel. I don’t want to feel this way, at all. Its awful!

In other news, I keep seeing people in my room at night. They won’t let me sleep, they talk to me (asking me to play games in the middle of the night) and scare me awake (I saw a young boy with shark teeth rush my side of the bed from the corner of the closet). I don’t know what to do about this, am I going mad? I see my psychiatrist again tonight so I’m going to bring all this up to him. The paranoia, the anxiety, the depression, seeing people in my room at night, and finally the cutting. I haven’t cut myself in so very long, I am afraid to have a relapse.

This is going to be a long post tonight, and for that I somewhat apologize (unless you guys enjoy longer posts). I wrote a poem based off a dream that I had and I wanted to share it will you all. The poem is also an illustration of myself in some regards and if I remember correctly, it highlighted a separation that I experienced. I wrote this poem with heavy imagery in mind, chronicling a journey between two people through fantasy and chaos. I hope you enjoy it. It is a long poem, but worth every line.

Continue reading “Beyond Our Control”